Sabotage

People are scared of not being able to successfully overcome their difficulties.
That is why I sabotage myself, put myself in unhealthy situations,
blame on the others what in fact is my own fault.

It is not that I am overconfident, lazy, or I try to be cool.
I just don't do it, because I fear all my effort won't be enough.
For the fear of failing while trying my best.

Worries hit me stronger than ever.
I feel every inch of my body twitching in fear, in worries, in stress.
I feel my blood rushing fast,
my natural breathing short to provide my hypoxic tissues.

I feel tired.
Mentally, physically, and spiritually.
And I can't be helped, since the battle is all mine against myself.